Friday, February 6

where is the snow


What happened to snow ???
It was snowing earlier today when i was on my way to school and it felt great , actually more than great , because i was so sad that i missed the dysfunctional London on Monday when it snowed and everywhere closed, so that maybe today it may be the same as it was on monday . I couldn't help but smiling during the lecture and seminar because i knew that i might not be working this evening because of the snow storm. But instead , the moment i got out of the seminar and run to the exit , i saw nothing but wet roads . Everything was gone. This is what i call Disaster. I had no luck !!

Thursday, February 5

confession


i don't know if i made the right decision moving to London
i felt terrible at the airport and i never wanted to come here actually.
now that I'm here at home , it feels like i have to do the things i was doing before ,but somehow my mind stayed in Istanbul and it is not coming back to me.
i picked the classes yesterday , i had the timetable today , and I'm going to my very first lecture tomorrow but why don't i feel excited or nervous or anxious. i supposed to feel so but instead i feel numb as if i was doing all those stuff maybe for 4 years like ordinarily.
i signed another contract for 12 months today for my broadband and with the telephone contract it makes it 2 contracts that i supposed to pay more than 1 year actually my phone contract is for 2 years. that's why i know that I'm staying in here , London, otherwise i go to jail i guess or i cant come back to London again because they might arrest me at the airport due to my unpaid debts and obviously its not an option. or maybe i win the lottery and i pay all those contracts at once so i don't have to wait for 2 years but i don't see its gonna happen too for some reason (!)
i canceled my gym membership because i supposed to start yoga but unsurprisingly i haven't gone there yet either. i think i need some one make me things by force.

daddy's girl




well i noticed that when i was telling nice stories about my family i think i forgot to mention about the most important person . he is my dad and i think he means a world to me. we haven't been spoken for a while and i thought that ignoring him would be the easiest way to hide my feelings but when i was in turkey , couple of days ago, i realized that i had made a very bad mistake not to speaking with him. dads and daughters are sometimes the best friends and sometimes the worst enemies but the coolest things is even though daughters feels that dads never understand them or things are never gonna solve between them, daddy's never feel the same. they always love their daughters and respect them secretly despite the angry reaction , they feel proud inside.
my daddy and i are exactly the same both physical and mental , i don't know what it means though, we think the same things ,we act same ,we react same therefore we fight like dogs but we love each other till death. the point in here is , we don't have to wait for one of us to die ,to express our feelings, we should and must aware of the time which is passing too quickly , and try to be there as much as possible. that's why i decided i have to go to turkey as much as possible and be with my father and try to show my feelings to him as much as i could because i love him so much and i know that he loves me the same.

Tuesday, February 3

moaning


What did I post to my blog last month?
I wrote a summary about radio 4 news, I wrote summary of steve's lecture, I wrote what is the relation between my future course and globalisation,I wrote about myself and my family,I wrote a summary about randy's last lecture and some other stuff that are all for self studying portfolio. For me, saying slightly lacking as a comment is lack of interest I'm afraid. Now that I had my feedback paper, I realized my writing mark is also slightly low, considering 4 highest ticks out of five shouldn't be 68% . But again I'm the student and students usually never happy with their marks unless they've got the highest.