how i hate finance

i know London is the biggest financial center all around the world and i know for sure you have to know how finance works to work for the big multinational companies but one thing i know for sure is i am not good at finance. my upcoming finance exam created millions of spots in my face and it is the biggest driving force of my stress eating and therefore there is no way finance and me are going to get along together very well. I'm not usually that desperate but i really really really need some help for my finance exam on Wednesday. There is no way I can  fail from this module, because I'm going back to Turkey for the  summer and if i fail, i have to attend to the summer school which is the last thing i wanted to do. Besides i don't think my parents feel happy about me going back to London in the middle of the summer especially when i let my room to someone else. Oh there you go another problem! I need to find someone to let my amazing room for the summer. It is gorgeous! and spacious! And in a really good location. Please someone come on and have my room. I can't deal with the gumtree's and the interviews. First one takes it. No questions no pre payments. 

Oh my god I'm so tired and i don't know what to do.

Still haven't finished the conclusion of my dissertation which is another  huge problem because after my finance exam i only have 2 days left to finish it up.

I just need a hug and someone to say it's gonna be alright.

nervous breakdown

well as everybody else, I've been dealing with my exams and dissertation but the only distinction between everyone else and me (maybe not though) is that I'm tired, I'm bored and i don't feel like studying anymore and it's not only because of the stress that I'm going through but also i don't think my efforts seem to face a total success at the end of this marathon.

when it comes to talking, i thought that i could talk, i could talk till someone has to stop me, but my abilities on talking didn't respond very well during the presentations. Moreover i thought that i could write if i really know the topic, and guess what in my cross cultural exam on Monday, it was like my hands were gone numb. i couldn't wrote anything. well i wrote something but obviously that wasn't enough. Anyway we have this health problems back home, I've got my health problems in here, my sister is graduating ( well it's not exactly a problem but it's my problem because she's graduating before me . a bit jealousy actually) anyway it's just so much and i feel weak (not literally tho i'm pretty fat nowadays). dear oh dear, i can't even believe that I've just said that i'm weak. ok no im not weak but i think i'm being lazy and a bit overloaded by the responsibilities.

I'm having difficulties to understand Russell's Teapot theory.

Could someone please kind enough to explain it to me ?

Bertrand Russell explains this theory as:

If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is an intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.

new wine

i had to tell you

moving again

Guess what
I'm moving again!!

Even writing about moving exhausts me but still this time i feel little bit energetic surprisingly.
Maybe because i love love love the place I'm moving in or maybe because i really hate the place I'm moving out but anyway for some reason i am ready to go!

Since i put the deposit in, it's getting harder and harder to stay in my old and small room. it's hard to believe that spent last 5 months eating on my bed reading on my bed studying on my bed watching TV on my bed etc. it's impossible to do what i did and stay slim at the same time. but I'm decided, the moment i move in , I'm gonna buy myself a bicycle and riding it to ever where!!
Besides my new house has a big BIG garden. oh my god still unbelievable. a big garden in which i can sunbathe in the middle of the sunny London Saturday
It makes me laugh though telling about sunny London day or sunbathing but you know last two days were as if it was summer. I blame the brilliant sun we had on Tuesday for getting me drunk and the Guinness's of course .
Here 's my st. Patrick's day picture : )

oh my god, i cant believe i forgot to tell you this

i re-colored my hair again!! isn't it lovely ?

this is a picture of my mates and me! they came from Turkey to visit me but unfortunately they left 2 days ago : ( but we had such a good fun !!

long way down

Yesterday after my contemporary business issues seminar i felt awful really awful cos my research's been doing not very well ( I'm having difficulties of reaching sources ) and my direction is completely ridiculous since all i did was thinking about it and my presentation day is coming (next week) therefore i decided to make myself more useless having couple of beers. and the other silly thing Ive been doing is reading long way down and watching its DVD at the same time. more likely reading the chapters first and then watching the related DVD parts which i find it very exciting actually because I'm creating this imaginary road trip in my mind while reading it and then compare it with the actual way down. what a great trip Ewan Mc Gregor and Charley Boorman took from Scotland to Cape Town. i wish i could do that too.

oh my god!
look what twitter has done to me !
i don't even complain anymore which you know i love. Actually i find it easier to express myself on twitter than posting blogs since twitter reaches more people than my lonely miserable blog and also it has word limit something like 160 maybe and therefore you cant really write long boring stories, you really need to summarize it.

teaming and working

i don't know if i ever mentioned that i really hate team work , now it is time to underline it.
Even though i come from society which is very popular by its communitarianism, i value my own privacy pretty much and i always like to do things by myself. Now that i realized, biggest part of the British Education System depends on team work and collaborating, it is easy to understand how i have been struggling with it quite a long time. Sometimes you think that it is the only person you can really trust is you, but again sometimes it is easy for you to feel discouraged and scared.
The latter one might be a problem in this case since because now you're a part of something and you have to be aware of it. You have to deal with your responsibilities by yourself and you have to know that you've got it in you, cos otherwise you wouldn't be here.
Team work requires being on time, sharing responsibilities, reading , writing etc. but if you think you can't be able to do these things you can't expect your mates do those for you.

he is just not that into you

Despite my appearance , which i think i kinda look cool or scary or i don't know sometimes scruffy but not so girly , sometimes i think i can be totally girly girl and i don't think i am afraid to admit it . What i am trying to say is , i 've just get out of this movie called he is just not that in to you, and i loved it. Even though the title of this movie sounds like little bit depressing and feels like its about couple of girls almost about being dumped, however it's not or not entirely though anyway, it has a happy ending ,as well as all the other American movies, .

Well i felt quite happy at the end of the movie and also a bit self pity but anyways it has a message and i got it. what i want to say is , i highly recommend this movie to almost every girl i know and that's all for today

where is the snow

What happened to snow ???
It was snowing earlier today when i was on my way to school and it felt great , actually more than great , because i was so sad that i missed the dysfunctional London on Monday when it snowed and everywhere closed, so that maybe today it may be the same as it was on monday . I couldn't help but smiling during the lecture and seminar because i knew that i might not be working this evening because of the snow storm. But instead , the moment i got out of the seminar and run to the exit , i saw nothing but wet roads . Everything was gone. This is what i call Disaster. I had no luck !!

confession

i don't know if i made the right decision moving to London
i felt terrible at the airport and i never wanted to come here actually.
now that I'm here at home , it feels like i have to do the things i was doing before ,but somehow my mind stayed in Istanbul and it is not coming back to me.
i picked the classes yesterday , i had the timetable today , and I'm going to my very first lecture tomorrow but why don't i feel excited or nervous or anxious. i supposed to feel so but instead i feel numb as if i was doing all those stuff maybe for 4 years like ordinarily.
i signed another contract for 12 months today for my broadband and with the telephone contract it makes it 2 contracts that i supposed to pay more than 1 year actually my phone contract is for 2 years. that's why i know that I'm staying in here , London, otherwise i go to jail i guess or i cant come back to London again because they might arrest me at the airport due to my unpaid debts and obviously its not an option. or maybe i win the lottery and i pay all those contracts at once so i don't have to wait for 2 years but i don't see its gonna happen too for some reason (!)
i canceled my gym membership because i supposed to start yoga but unsurprisingly i haven't gone there yet either. i think i need some one make me things by force.

daddy's girl

well i noticed that when i was telling nice stories about my family i think i forgot to mention about the most important person . he is my dad and i think he means a world to me. we haven't been spoken for a while and i thought that ignoring him would be the easiest way to hide my feelings but when i was in turkey , couple of days ago, i realized that i had made a very bad mistake not to speaking with him. dads and daughters are sometimes the best friends and sometimes the worst enemies but the coolest things is even though daughters feels that dads never understand them or things are never gonna solve between them, daddy's never feel the same. they always love their daughters and respect them secretly despite the angry reaction , they feel proud inside.
my daddy and i are exactly the same both physical and mental , i don't know what it means though, we think the same things ,we act same ,we react same therefore we fight like dogs but we love each other till death. the point in here is , we don't have to wait for one of us to die ,to express our feelings, we should and must aware of the time which is passing too quickly , and try to be there as much as possible. that's why i decided i have to go to turkey as much as possible and be with my father and try to show my feelings to him as much as i could because i love him so much and i know that he loves me the same.

moaning

What did I post to my blog last month?
I wrote a summary about radio 4 news, I wrote summary of steve's lecture, I wrote what is the relation between my future course and globalisation,I wrote about myself and my family,I wrote a summary about randy's last lecture and some other stuff that are all for self studying portfolio. For me, saying slightly lacking as a comment is lack of interest I'm afraid. Now that I had my feedback paper, I realized my writing mark is also slightly low, considering 4 highest ticks out of five shouldn't be 68% . But again I'm the student and students usually never happy with their marks unless they've got the highest.

song of the day

my favorite song of the 2008

mgmt-time to pretend

my diary

Hello from central London,
Today one of my friends went to Istanbul for a short holiday and it makes me so sad because even though I thought that I'm living here happily and lonely and also convinced myself that I don't need to go to Istanbul anytime soon,actually I realized I want to go home for maybe 5 days. Yes in fact 5 days in Istanbul help me relax and take all my depression away. I started to feel very stressed and also sad, I don't find anytime to do anything actually even if I do find time I don't really want to do anything, and my overall situation right now just seems a little bit miserable to me.

essay introduction

Globalization, the most abused word in the 21st century, defined by the economists, has meant so many different things to different people and evoked as emotion (Chanda, 2002). In business, it is important not only try to understand what its definition but also what is it that changed over the past few years by the name of globalisation. What are the main effects of globalisation into the global co operations, to customers,to the labour ,to production, to distribution and how technology improved by using global opportunities?
For example,in today's global economy some products having been made and sell almost everywhere whereas consumers are being able to reach almost anything even though those products are originally produced on the other side of the world. Additionally, as For the companies, mass production provides lower costs, competitive advantage, and. Being able to use the economies of scale.On the other, however, according to world ban briefing papers, liberalized financial or capital market flows whose high volatility can sometimes foster boom_and_bust cycles and financial crises with large economic costs.Even though some countries have to face drawbacks of the globalisation, yet most of them benefits from its advantages and try to be a part of those global markets in order to create new job opportunities, gain new global customers and raise their incomes.This essay will argue both sides of the debate and have a point to the main effects of the globalisation through the leading business function and then discuss how global markets affect other countries which they are either part of world wide unions or not.

introduction

Globalization, maybe the most abused word in the 21Th century, defined by the economists,has meant so many different things to different people and evoked as much emotion (Chanda,2002). To understand what it means and its effects to a business enterprise, globalization has to be examined by the terms of global firms, its competitive, commercial factors and its approaches to the technology. On one side ,some have argued that global corporations have become a holocaust and destroy local business' and also violating labour rights. On the other hand, however, it can be argued that the movements of capital and labour, integration between multinational corporations etc. ensures competitive advantages which they also could benefit from economies of scale and cost efficiency. this essay will argue that both sides of the debate and have a point to the main effects of the globalization through the leading business functions.

steve's introduction

Most economists would agree that due to the credit crunch, global markets are facing potential collapse (Stiglitz, 2008; Monbiot, 2007). As we know, our current recession began in the USA where banks got into the habit of granting mortgages to lenders unable to pay them back. This created a liquidity crisis in the country which banks and government were unable to resolve, and soon these economic difficulties spread to the rest of the world (BBC News, 2008).On one hand, some people argue
that even though today the economy does not seem very well, many people do their business and finances highly efficiently and effectively for the last 20 years with using the benefits of globalization. On the other hand, however, different thinkers have taken almost completely opposite views , pointed out the current issues and continue with, if it was not global markets there would not be the financial crises today. In this essay, I will argue that we have to radically assess the 20th Century philosophy of free trade and globalisation due to the failures we've experienced recently in global markets. I will begin by looking at how this philosophy was based on an erroneous logic and then go on to describe the ways in which it has set us back with regard to financial efficiency and growth. I will then go on to discuss the ways in which I think this current crisis will affect future research in my subject area International Banking and Finance.

Globalisation Lecture

Failure of Globalisation
(this is what i understand)

Credit crunch, first time after Great Depression.
Banks are lending money 5times more than people's income.
Since the house prices are decreased, people have to sell their houses to the lower prices than they used to. For example if someone ( Jack ) loaned £150.000 last year to buy a house and could not effort to pay anymore, bank force him to sell his house. The problem is because there is a financial crises going on, no one wants to pay £150.000 pound anymore so the value of the houses are started to lessening. For this reason, Jack has to sell his house to £100.000 (way cheaper than he bought) and still owe £50.000 to the bank. When jack told to the bank that he can't pay his debt anymore , bank people has to talk to the other people ,whom they bought jack's loans from the bank (CDOs), that they cant pay their debts because Jack can't give them the money. And then those people who bought the loan from the Bank, has to talk to the people whom again bought that loan of jacks and so on.

If jack couldn't pay his debt the chain of buying and selling loans delay and that will create a big problem because of this global trading system.

*these are my lecture notes

sub-prime mortgages => credit/$ <= Bank => CDOs/$ <= asset-backed securities sold globally -Mortgages defaults increase -Flow of money stops -Banks concerns over asset-backed securities interbank lending stops *Global effect : usa (CDOs) => uk(CDOs) => europe (CDOs) => china(CDOs) =>india (CDOs)

financial markets are global effects are also becomes global

Joseph Stiglitz thought that globalisation is contegious. If something happens in one country it will be spread to entirely different country because of the global markets.


Liquidity crises => not enough money for us and also for businesses
and because of the liquidity crises everyone started to suffer. Businesses go to bankruptcy , they can't expand, people lose their jobs, living costs are getting higher etc.

Banks in turmoil
in UK, northern rock and in USA, bear stearns are collapsed
stock market roller coaster ( failing month by month)

Philosophy of globalisation
- Liberalization : Whatever you do is OK as long as you're making money

Liberalization: trade, finance, production
- All the laws specified for globalization, trade agreements etc. everything is free up the movement of goods and services
- They removed the rules and regulations but it had side effects of course like air pollution , cheap labour.

Free trade becomes rid of restrictions and brings no obligations
not for everyone though, somebody had to pay
only big multinational companies like Coca Cola , Gap , Zara can use the advantages

my pictures

so yesterday steve mentioned in the class that he likes to look at people's pictures i thought that i am really good at pictures and also i have lots and lots of pictures that i can suprised people actually.

ayca

Hello and wellcome to my blog !

My name's Ayca and I'm very pleased to have you here. This blog is mainly about my pre-sessional course studies but occasionally I may post some stuff about the things I'm interested or the things I find interesting.
To tell you little bit about me , I'm 24 years old and I am from Istanbul which I think it is not only the most beautiful city in Turkey but also one of the most amazing cities in the world.
I was studying business administration when I was in Istanbul but suddenly I changed my mind and decided to come to London to continue with international business. Thankfully, London met people were pretty satisfied by my previous studies so I was accepted by my 3rd year. Now all I have to do is to pass this course successfully and hope for the best for the next semester.
About my family, I have 3 lovely sisters maybe the most beautiful girls in the world and my mom is the most amazing mother one could ever had. We live in Emirgan which is at the European side of Istanbul near the seaside in a very old fashioned 3 floured building.
My 8-year-old twin sisters are living with my mom and they are going to 3rd year of the elementary school and my 22 year old sister lives in Ankara because of her university. She is studying psychology and she wants to be a social scientist which is pretty suitable for her because she was always a little bit nerd but in a very good way. My mother also is a psychiatrist and a forensic medicine doctor which is quite interesting for other people because they usually thought that her job is more likely to be in the television series of csi but unfortunately in Turkey they don't have those multi functional technologic devices so I can't really say she has a very exciting work life.

international business

In global world , not only people but also and more importantly countries and companies are getting involved more and more with each other. therefore it is crucial for those people who are specialized in international relations and international business to provide an understanding of global balance.

International business's primary focus is of course on the subject of globalization and global markets which is mainly about connecting people through globe, maintain goods and services to everyone even though they are produced in only one part of the world and make international travels easier and more frequent for everyone.

Some people would argue about the fact of globalization has its drawbacks more than its advantages like not all the countries increase their incomes by using international trade or countries who produce goods, sell their products lower prices but also forced to buy manifactured good at high prices by the name under two way trade.

However, generally, most of the people agree, that "economical growth is good for the poor and the trade is good for the growth" * hence it would appear that globalization for better for worse is going to be the most populer issue over the next few years




*http://www.cepr.org/press/PP8.htm

radio 4 #0730

Nationwide numbers show that there us a remarkable decrease on mortgage rates during the 2008 and according to Angus Sticklers interviews, both with an estate agent and an economist, there is no sign of recovery for the near future. Although there might be still hope if the precautionary steps would be taken.

my dreams

After watching Randy Pausch's last lecture , i have to admit i was amazed by all his achievements in his life not only by his academic success or his professional outcome but also his sense of humor , enjoying life , loving and caring people who are close to him etc.
I know i should not say i wish after watching 1.45 minute lecture about being enthusiastic and believe in yourself stuff, but still, i think this is something you have born with it and i think it is called being a happy person ,not only being happy by the environmental reasons but being just happy by yourself without needing anything or anyone.
Anyhow of course this lecture got me thinking about my life, my dreams, my achievements etc. and i cant really say I'm very optimistic about any of those. I find out that all the things that i wished for when i was a child were materialistic or impossible to get.
For example, my biggest dream was my father gets too rich and end up buying me a small country in Europe and then makes me the princess of this country. Yes this was my dream and i don't see its going to happen any time soon or maybe we can say not it's not gonna happen. Other than this,to mention my other dreams, which are more possible but still not gonna happen,was those;

-i always wanted to be a vet
-i always wanted to fly on the clouds
-i wanted to swim into the pool but instead of water it has to be golden money. ( as in scrooge mcduck )

So as you can see ,there is no way that i could achieve those dreams in this life at least and that is already too pessimistic for me to go on living, according to the meaning of life is to achieve your dreams.

But still, i don't want to be this pessimistic so i think i should pick new dreams to achieve to live happily because somewhat you'll never know how long you're gonna live for.I do believe in faith and i do believe in reality which makes it harder though for a person like me who is capable of daydreaming 24/7 and it is already creating contradictions for me about being realistic and daydreaming is not possible work together. however in my position i have to believe in this person who said anything is possible, must have know something.
Other than me or we or our egos, i think the most important think Randy said in the lecture is to help other people to achieve their dreams. i thought that is the greatest saying i have ever heard. It is kind of godlike if i can use such a word but yet it is not proud as it sounds, maybe more like a Princess Diana but not only helping to the people in need but also to the people who ask for your help maybe just your advice, your experiences or anything related with your subject.
I believe i could be the happiest person if i could do something like that.
Personally, i changed my mind every second so i can convert myself to do almost anything and me being happy as a person is not actually what i am looking for but what i really want to do is to make a difference about other people's life, maybe like this as i mentioned above, i really do.

black berry

Yeah I accidentally promise to write five pages I guess but I was thinking of make it three because I'm seriously ill right now that's why I couldn't even use my computer. Anyway I hope everyone had a marvellious time on both christmas and new year's eve,I know I did.I had a traditional christmas lunch and dinner also received the nicest presents and also gave others to their presents etc. It was calm and warm and lovely. But my new year's eve was awesome. Even though I was working it felt like I was the host of this faboulous party. We all got drunk and danced all night but I think i still couldn't recover from that night's hangover.

black berry

If this works,I promise I will write at least 5 pages of movie reviews!!