how i hate finance

i know London is the biggest financial center all around the world and i know for sure you have to know how finance works to work for the big multinational companies but one thing i know for sure is i am not good at finance. my upcoming finance exam created millions of spots in my face and it is the biggest driving force of my stress eating and therefore there is no way finance and me are going to get along together very well. I'm not usually that desperate but i really really really need some help for my finance exam on Wednesday. There is no way I can  fail from this module, because I'm going back to Turkey for the  summer and if i fail, i have to attend to the summer school which is the last thing i wanted to do. Besides i don't think my parents feel happy about me going back to London in the middle of the summer especially when i let my room to someone else. Oh there you go another problem! I need to find someone to let my amazing room for the summer. It is gorgeous! and spacious! And in a really good location. Please someone come on and have my room. I can't deal with the gumtree's and the interviews. First one takes it. No questions no pre payments. 

Oh my god I'm so tired and i don't know what to do.

Still haven't finished the conclusion of my dissertation which is another  huge problem because after my finance exam i only have 2 days left to finish it up.

I just need a hug and someone to say it's gonna be alright.

nervous breakdown

well as everybody else, I've been dealing with my exams and dissertation but the only distinction between everyone else and me (maybe not though) is that I'm tired, I'm bored and i don't feel like studying anymore and it's not only because of the stress that I'm going through but also i don't think my efforts seem to face a total success at the end of this marathon.

when it comes to talking, i thought that i could talk, i could talk till someone has to stop me, but my abilities on talking didn't respond very well during the presentations. Moreover i thought that i could write if i really know the topic, and guess what in my cross cultural exam on Monday, it was like my hands were gone numb. i couldn't wrote anything. well i wrote something but obviously that wasn't enough. Anyway we have this health problems back home, I've got my health problems in here, my sister is graduating ( well it's not exactly a problem but it's my problem because she's graduating before me . a bit jealousy actually) anyway it's just so much and i feel weak (not literally tho i'm pretty fat nowadays). dear oh dear, i can't even believe that I've just said that i'm weak. ok no im not weak but i think i'm being lazy and a bit overloaded by the responsibilities.

I'm having difficulties to understand Russell's Teapot theory.

Could someone please kind enough to explain it to me ?

Bertrand Russell explains this theory as:

If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is an intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.

new wine

i had to tell you

moving again

Guess what
I'm moving again!!

Even writing about moving exhausts me but still this time i feel little bit energetic surprisingly.
Maybe because i love love love the place I'm moving in or maybe because i really hate the place I'm moving out but anyway for some reason i am ready to go!

Since i put the deposit in, it's getting harder and harder to stay in my old and small room. it's hard to believe that spent last 5 months eating on my bed reading on my bed studying on my bed watching TV on my bed etc. it's impossible to do what i did and stay slim at the same time. but I'm decided, the moment i move in , I'm gonna buy myself a bicycle and riding it to ever where!!
Besides my new house has a big BIG garden. oh my god still unbelievable. a big garden in which i can sunbathe in the middle of the sunny London Saturday
It makes me laugh though telling about sunny London day or sunbathing but you know last two days were as if it was summer. I blame the brilliant sun we had on Tuesday for getting me drunk and the Guinness's of course .
Here 's my st. Patrick's day picture : )

oh my god, i cant believe i forgot to tell you this

i re-colored my hair again!! isn't it lovely ?

this is a picture of my mates and me! they came from Turkey to visit me but unfortunately they left 2 days ago : ( but we had such a good fun !!

long way down

Yesterday after my contemporary business issues seminar i felt awful really awful cos my research's been doing not very well ( I'm having difficulties of reaching sources ) and my direction is completely ridiculous since all i did was thinking about it and my presentation day is coming (next week) therefore i decided to make myself more useless having couple of beers. and the other silly thing Ive been doing is reading long way down and watching its DVD at the same time. more likely reading the chapters first and then watching the related DVD parts which i find it very exciting actually because I'm creating this imaginary road trip in my mind while reading it and then compare it with the actual way down. what a great trip Ewan Mc Gregor and Charley Boorman took from Scotland to Cape Town. i wish i could do that too.

oh my god!
look what twitter has done to me !
i don't even complain anymore which you know i love. Actually i find it easier to express myself on twitter than posting blogs since twitter reaches more people than my lonely miserable blog and also it has word limit something like 160 maybe and therefore you cant really write long boring stories, you really need to summarize it.

teaming and working

i don't know if i ever mentioned that i really hate team work , now it is time to underline it.
Even though i come from society which is very popular by its communitarianism, i value my own privacy pretty much and i always like to do things by myself. Now that i realized, biggest part of the British Education System depends on team work and collaborating, it is easy to understand how i have been struggling with it quite a long time. Sometimes you think that it is the only person you can really trust is you, but again sometimes it is easy for you to feel discouraged and scared.
The latter one might be a problem in this case since because now you're a part of something and you have to be aware of it. You have to deal with your responsibilities by yourself and you have to know that you've got it in you, cos otherwise you wouldn't be here.
Team work requires being on time, sharing responsibilities, reading , writing etc. but if you think you can't be able to do these things you can't expect your mates do those for you.

he is just not that into you

Despite my appearance , which i think i kinda look cool or scary or i don't know sometimes scruffy but not so girly , sometimes i think i can be totally girly girl and i don't think i am afraid to admit it . What i am trying to say is , i 've just get out of this movie called he is just not that in to you, and i loved it. Even though the title of this movie sounds like little bit depressing and feels like its about couple of girls almost about being dumped, however it's not or not entirely though anyway, it has a happy ending ,as well as all the other American movies, .

Well i felt quite happy at the end of the movie and also a bit self pity but anyways it has a message and i got it. what i want to say is , i highly recommend this movie to almost every girl i know and that's all for today